Do you love him Loretta?: Vintage toolbox

Friday, February 22, 2013

The Dirty Tool Box

THINKING INSIDE THE BOX

Dirty Old Tool Box

This is a story of a woman who bought a dirty wooden toolbox. This woman buys so much junk from so many places that she couldn't remember where she bought it from. As this isn't really important for the story, we'll move on. So, upon bringing the toolbox home, the woman looked at it and thought ...

Woman happy cause her basements full of junk! Celebrating with Feather boas!!

"Hmmm...can I put it in my kitchen? My family room? My washroom? No way, its way to dirty (no bugs or anything, just tool box dirty)! I know, I'll put it in my basement, until I get around to cleaning it. Maybe by then I'll have a brainiac moment!"

SOURCE

"Maybe all those creative blogs I read will inspire me to do something mindblastingly brilliant with it! Then I can blog about it! Oh yeah, and if I put it in the basement my husband won't see it!"

So she found a space on the floor in her basement and placed it there. Over time, things more things were placed on top of it. More and more things found their home on top of the dirty wooden toolbox, until it couldn't even be seen!

One day, the woman realized her basement was probably a fire hazard! She went downstairs with the best of intentions, to clean it up. She grabbed a couple of garbage bags - one for goodwill donations,and one for real garbage (stuff goodwill wouldn't even want). All of a sudden she got to her toolbox!

"Oh dear me! Toolbox I haven't seen you in at least three years!" Said the lady! "Now I can be diverted from the real task of basement cleaning and focus on my toolbox" She proclaimed with glee and jubilation! She danced and danced with happiness!

Up came the toolbox and got a good scrubbing! Even with an old toothbrush, the woman couldn't get some of the gook out of the corners. Scrub, brush, wipe, no matter what she did, she wasn't satisfied that this old toolbox was clean enough. "Man, do I hate gook :( " said the lady.

She remembered that over the past three years, she was supposed to come up with a brilliant transformation project for the box. Sadly, she had had no such revelation (in all honesty, she forgot all about it!).

"Well, I've still got lots of old book pages from the wire heart wreath I made last month." And she always had tons of white glue, because she forgets she buys bottles and bottles (and bottles) of it every August for back to school (even though the kids use glue sticks). So she thought she would decoupage the inside with the book pages..."Great! I likes decoupage! I like old book pages! Old FRENCH book pages are even better!!! And once you coat everything in layers and layers of paper and glue and more glue, its pretty clean, right????"

So she gathered her supplies, and off she went, decoupaging her heart out(her favourite verb)!

Oooh...French! With authentic water stains!! Oooh La La!

She finished all the gluing and looked at her finished product, and she thought it looked pretty good! BUUUUUT it didn't really look good enough!

"It looks fine! Better than fine! It looks great!" said Mr. Woman

She didn't believe him! The woman knew that her husband would say anything for her to drop the foam brush and cook him some dinner!

So out came the white glue again...and this time she brought out the vintage stamps she had bought from Eb*y! She had a bag of gorgeous vintage stamps!!

Some of my Favourites

"No way!" she thought! "I'm not using my good British stamps! No way no how! I know...I'm using my stamps from India and Pakistan!"

But after more decoupage (its a dirty word around here, Ladies!) it still wasn't enough! Then the woman got all deep and philosophical..."Why is it never enough? What exactly is 'enough', what is the square root of Pi???" So she went to her craft drawer and pulled out...rubber stamps!!!

TADA!!!